Words have Consequences
I am a unapologetically a person of faith. I felt called to write this and to post this. If you are not interested in the metaphysical, fatih, etc., or if you’ve stumbled upon this post looking for a fight or debate, please feel free to go ahead and click away from this post. I wish you the very best on your personal journey.
I was recently told by someone I thought I trusted to:
“Never testify about being a mother/parenting or the joys of parenthood.”
That’s not verbatim, but that was the gist of it in the context of a conversation about a song. So this morning, a day later, and a Monday no less, the Lord in His infinite wisdom and even greater sense of humor called me out to write about just that — motherhood.
I received this edict, I believe, because I did not have the same reaction and positive emotional response to said song. The way I see it there are two options for how to perceive this commentary:
1. This was the individual’s sincerely held belief/opinion of me, that I am not worthy to give testimony about parenthood/motherhood.
OR
2. It was a personal jab/attack — a throwaway comment — because I did not align with/agree with what this person felt about a song (and as such did not want to sing it for Mother’s Day).
Either of these options is less than ideal. As I am prone to blame myself when criticized, I spent quite a bit of time crying and wondering what this man had observed about me as a mother that would have led to such a harsh criticism. A denouncement and direct instruction from an elder to never testify to that topic, because I had been weighed, measured, and found wanting.
It is good to self-analyze. I am not a perfect mother, not a perfect parent. I screw up all the time. Luckily God picks up the pieces, because we are all the colorful, happy accidents of flawed parenting. He rewards my striving, my dedication, my love, and my faith, and most importantly He holds together my brokenness and polishes the chipped edges, fills and gilds the cracks that they are visible but in Him I am whole.
I am not angry. I am deeply hurt. And I believed that going in early, singing from up front was somehow a calling, a help. I feel my eyes have been opened. Maybe my ego needed to be checked. Maybe I had strayed too far from my intended path.
Words have consequences.
In our humanness we get distracted. In our desire to please others, we lose sight of Him.
I’m called back to Proverbs 31:10-31. We all fall short of this ideal of the “worthy woman,” BUT it is a very clear description of an ideal. I aspire and work daily to try to eke my way close to being kin to this lady. And in this pick-me era where we show off our “best” selves on stage and on social media, I’m called to task by the One who Knows, that NOWHERE in this description does she “get up in front of others to be heard and her voice admired.” She is a maker and thinker, a businesswoman, a caretaker, a phenomenally supportive wife cherished by her husband and children and respected in her community. And the font, the source, above all else, that which gives rise to her praiseworthiness is that she is a woman who fears the Lord - reverently worshipping, obeying, serving, trusting, listening to Him with awe-filled respect.
I am edified and reminded by recent events not to be distracted by what others opine of me. I am who the Father dictates. I belong to Him and owe no others. He is with me through my pain. He is there and knows my joy and my sorrows as the seasons in my children’s lives come and pass. He was with me when I felt their first movements, the quickening in my womb, and He was with me when I realized I have picked up and carried each of them for the last time. He is with me when I’m disappointed, and He is with me when my heart is filled to bursting with pride. Through all the angst and worry and hope, He will be with me come what may.
And He can hear me signing His praise just as clearly from my garden or a pew. He is with me.
And…
He is with each of you in this season and in every season to come.
